He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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