oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
