I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
