she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
