I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
