she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just found a bag of teeth...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
