I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
