marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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