Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
