found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
