I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
