would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
