you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
