Say something about gay babies.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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