omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
