Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
