another moral hangover. fuck.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
