So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
