It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
