brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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