Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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