All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Don't make out with my wife yet
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Randomize
