My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
