Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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