So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
