My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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