So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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