Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
