i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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