well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I smell like Dick and happiness
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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