i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
