They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
