You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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