I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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