So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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