Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
