dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
