Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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