I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
