Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
