No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just google imaged poop.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
