I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm bleeding and have questions
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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