I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
