So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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