Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
