Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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