just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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