Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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