Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
