omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Randomize
