I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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