Life is so much better after having sex.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
