We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
