So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
