I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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