so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
