in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I can't put those talents on a resume
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
