you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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