honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
