But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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