My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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