to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
