Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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