Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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