I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
