I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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