chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
