mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
foreskin is a definite game changer
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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