Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize