My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My nipple is on Facebook.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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