remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize