You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
