Banned from zoo.
Again?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize