I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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