Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
