Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
