His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
