I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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