But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize